For the average fishermen, the urge to go fishing is usually proceeded by the time honored ritual of checking out THE FISHING REPORT.

Most rivers and lakes in traditional "fish bearing" areas, appear to have some sort of guru who compiles daily catch and success rates of the men and women who toil the waters casting and trolling for fish.

In most cases it is a local newspaper columnist OR river guide turned columnist who reports or gathers the information we all crave before investing our precious time into fishy endeavors.In some cases, on line fishing reports can be useful but then we all know how reliable the internet is for accurate information.

Oh yeah--I write columns on the internet. So, I take it back. The internet is a wonderful source of information, take everything you read as gospel.

Now back to our regularly scheduled program...

...Several calls or e-mails to and from guides and respected fishermen allow for a fairly accurate assessment of water conditions and "bite" of the fish.Bait of choice and actual fish count numbers also help us to make decisions as to where and how we chase after our prey.

We open our outdoor section in our local daily, and read the report like a want ad, expecting to see a report that says: "Hey A.J.--Yeah you--- grab your rod head out to the old military bridge, walk up to the first riffle upstream and cast to the inside pocket. There are thirteen steelhead sitting there waiting for about a half ounce of roe, spit some tobacco juice on it for luck and be sure to use about a half ounce of weight,let it sink to the bottom and bounce it lightly. You will feel a slight pause and heavy feeling on your eight pound test--that's a fish dummy --so lift your rod and start yelling like a little boy."

Of course, what we really get is:

Fishing is really picking up in the middle stretches of the river, with many catches being reported on roe,flies,worms,plugs,herring,small dogs and lures. Some fishermen are occasionaly picking up fish by side drifting bait while others are having some success back bouncing or picking off a few fish from the banks.The numbers of fish are generally good and guides are finding pockets of fish scattered throughout the river....

For the most part, you can cut and paste that report and use that as your fishing report for any river.

Except for the small dog part.

That is the problem with fishing reports. They are useless.

By the time you get the information, everything can change. Fishing conditions can change hourly, daily,and even by the minute, so--- to go armed with yesterdays news is just waste of time. Just ask anybody who has ever gone to a place with old information and came away with that "I should have been here yesterday" feeling.

For my inspiration to head off to the river, I need only get my fishing reports from the "drive by fishing report"???

Let me explain.

I was tooling along the boardwalk of the main drag in my hometown of Jacksonville Oregon the other day,minding my own business deep in thought of some silly idle brain cell expulsion of energy. When a voice rang out," did you hear about my fish?"

Outside of the fact, that I was not sure if God had finally answered my prayers and decided to personally have a conversation with me, I knew somebody was trying to get my attention. I looked around and there hanging out the window of his pick up truck was Jerry.

Relieved that I wasn't going to have to grow a long beard and wander the desert while carrying stone tablets, I heard Jerry holler at me again.

"Did I tell you about the fish I caught the other day?"

The fact that he asked me a second time, and was willing to slow the traffic behind him to give me some up to the minute report on fishing told me this might be big news.

"I caught a twenty-four and a half pound steelhead up on the North Umpqua."

I replied in a fashion that certainly would disqualify me from any future Mosaic job openings,and of course asked him--when?

"This past weekend."

I repeated my "first impressions" of HIS luck, and then traffic pushed him along and he was out of there.

Now that is my idea of a fishing report.

I knew it was accurate, because he added the half pound in his report. I had the location, and I had the approximate time.It was short and to the point. And for those of you that are unfamiliar with southern Oregon steelhead-- that is a huge fish.

At that point I had just received all the inspiration and information one could possibly need to go fishing.

In other words, as long as fish are present there is always the chance that I may be the lucky person to be on the other end of that battle with an incredible fish like that.

Isn't that what it's all about?

So if you need to check out the fishing report before heading out for a day or week of fishing-so be it. But really, if you have the basic knowledge of knowing where, and how to catch the fish that are present in the lake or river system. Just go. You can't catch 'em until you get your line in the water.

And who knows, maybe it will be you giving the daily "drive by fishing report" in your town.....